Unfortunately, I am a Carrie.
Hump Day Motivation 12/15/21
Welcome to the Hump Day Motivation (HDM), a bi-weekly edition of Gangletown. Hump Day is all about the things that make me happy, hopeful, and horny. So buckle up, and enjoy a mid-week digital wiggle!
The TV: And Just Like That…
*** !! SPOILERS INCLUDED !! ***
Stop. Did you read the thing about spoilers? If you don’t want spoilers for And Just Like That…, the new edition of Sex and the City, then move along to the next section.
I only discovered the original Sex and the City like six (?) years ago? Much to the shock and anger of many, I was pushing thirty, living in NYC, and had never seen the show. Whatever, I rectified it. Obviously, I fell in love and totally understand why it was such a thing when it originally aired.
Being all caught up, I was finally able to join the classic question that everyone must answer when the subject of SATC comes up: which one are you? Unfortunately, despite many conversations with myself and others attempting to prove otherwise, I am a Carrie. I know. I know. Anyone that thinks they’re a Carrie is usually just fooling themself. They’re people with idealized versions of themselves and their importance, living with main-character syndrome on a day-to-day basis. And to that, I say…YEAH. Yeah, exactly. If that isn’t some Carrie-shit, then I don’t know what is?
Anyway, in And Just Like That… the Carrie that everyone loves and hates is back back back again. In my personal opinion, Sarah Jessica Parker is in perfect shape for the job. Her performance feels more natural and grounded than ever before, and it is a delight to watch her. The woman is fascinating, and it’s hard to deny just how much of a true star she is. The X factor? She got it. I mean, she also got a world-class designer-only wardrobe and make-up team to help her, but she still got * it *.
What she doesn’t have? The fucking wherewithal to call 911 when her husband clearly needs medical help? Carrie comes home from Lily’s recital to find Big - who they’re really trying to convince us is named ‘John’ - slumped over like a messed up car lot inflatable. He looks at her with eyes like, “oh fuck” while clutching his chest. Then, instead of going to him and pulling out the phone that she definitely knows how to use (there is a whole bit in episode 1 about how she is “doing Instagram and Podcast”), she runs to him screaming, “John John John” and clutching him like a maniac. She does not call 911. He is still alive when she finds him, but she acts like he is dead already? I mean, clearly, she knows that this man is ailing, that is obvious, but he isn’t dead yet! And she doesn’t do! Anything?!
Here is my take. I think this is a bad directing issue. When Big gets that last look at Carrie, it should read as a moment of satisfaction. We should know that he held on as long as he could because he wanted one more look at his partner ~*Carrie*~. Once he’s had that last moment with her, her can go out happy. That would be romantic and reinforce the narrative that they lived happily together as long as they could have. We should know that Carrie has seen Big actually pass over (death), thus allowing her to start grieving and for us to not hate her.
Instead, what happens is that Big is looking at her like, HELP ME, and she…doesn't.
Also. Wtf do I know? I’ve never - and hope to never - been in that situation before. As a Carrie myself, I suppose I might become completely inept in the heat of a crisis too. Let’s hope not.
Anyway, I’m enjoying the show very much so far. Some random highlights include Steve being basically deaf (like he is suddenly 80 years old?), Sara Ramírez (pictured above) and their character Che nearly stealing the entire second episode as the most interesting person (and being super hot!), and - of course - the clothes. Call me a simple Kimple, but the clothes are just so damn pretty.
Bonus! One of my other mothers, Denise Lecce (Ward), is featured in Episode Two as one of the lesbian event planners. Denise is a powerhouse of a lady and re-entered the entertainment biz not too long ago after taking a long hiatus to raise her kids. Seeing her following her dream and nail it on the screen like that was so beautiful and special.
The Gripe: Pacific Standard Time // Time Zones in General
Blaine, Effie, and I have been in Nevada for the last week and a half, spending some time with family. It’s been really lovely to get QT with my in-laws finally and to get out of the day-to-day routine of apartment life.
That said, I have one major issue with being here: West Coast time.
In the morning, you want me to believe that New York is at work, while I’m just having my alarm go off? And at night, you want me to believe it is only eight pm when my body knows that it is eleven pm (and feels like four am)? I DON’T BUY IT.
Think about it. While we’re watching the Oscars or whatever, and it’s starting at freaking eight o’clock, making us stay up past our bedtime because the program runs long, that it is only FIVE O’CLOCK for the people at the event? FIVE O’CLOCK!?
I can’t.
I won’t.
I hate it.
I’m sorry, but EST is the only actual time zone. I’ve never been good at time travel, but, after 34 years of being an East Coaster, I’m here to confidently say that this west-coast nonsense is just unreasonable. I’ll take it one step further. Pacific Standard Time is WRONG.
The Thirst: The Stunning 40th Birthday of Paul Kwak
Now! On to the good stuff. The part where we get thirsty and inappropriate about someone! It is HUMP DAY, after all. Right?
Tomorrow is the birthday of one of the single hottest people I know in the world: my good sis Paul. And it isn’t just any ol’ birthday. This is his magic super fun big-time powerful dynamic sensual exciting 40th birthday. Yes, we say it loud and proud because to be forty is one of the single hottest ages that one can be. That is FACT. Paul has earned every one of those years, each one being sexier than the next.
What makes Paul so hot?
Well, obviously, you can look at him and understand. He has silky skin like Meryl in Death Becomes Her (before it starts falling off), a smile that has ruined marriages (for the better), a booty that could solve climate change, and a personality more intoxicating than his famous obsession with Negroni cocktails.
Paul is a devastatingly sweet, energetic, giving, and playful friend. He is an unreasonably intelligent and driven doctor. He is grotesquely accomplished and driven in his profession.
But, most importantly, he is bonertown as all hell!
To help celebrate Paul’s 40th, please check out his new resources for vocal performers. He recently launched an INCREDIBLE podcast called Kwak Talks, and you can find more information at paulekwak.com. Also, go tell him how hot he is. Objectify the man - because he deserves it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL! WE LOVE YOU. YOU’RE SO HOT.
If you love what's happening here, will you consider sharing this week's gangletown (or another piece from the archives) directly with one person? It is the best way to help as gangletown grows. You can also follow & Tag me on social media @DKimps.
