Things Adults Taught Me About Being a Good Person
and other thoughts
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5 Things I’m Grateful For on Thanksgiving
Here are five things I felt grateful for on Thanksgiving.
Tralen and Randy. For a thousand reasons but in particular, because they just bought a gorgeous house in the Poconos and invited us to spend the holiday with them. We got negative Covid tests before going, and it was a magical couple of days.
Hot showers. Especially this time of year, a hot shower has the power to change the world.
Effie. I wish I could bottle the overwhelming sense of love that I feel for this little dog and share it with the world.
Hindsight. Looking back, being objective, and growing.
Ambition. It is often painful to want so much more for oneself, but I’d rather be driven in the end.
Things Adults Taught Me About Being a Good Person
Here are some things, as I remember them, from childhood. They are all moments where I recognize that I was being taught well.
I went to Wal-mart with my cousins and their Mom. We saw a woman with vitiligo, and when I commented on it by loudly saying, “did you see that woman’s hands?” she made a point to halt the trip. She taught us that commenting on people’s looks was not appropriate and that skin color - or colors - was never something to see as negative.
I was on a Boy Scout trip at “Camp Thunder” with my step-dad Joe. At a morning ceremony (where we said the pledge, raised the flag, and heard announcements), one of the scout leaders made a casual comment that we had “won” a debate (or case?). He was purposefully vague. When I asked what it was about, Joe was similarly vague but said that it was wrong (he disagreed with the scout leader). The debate was about allowing homosexuals in the boy scouts.
I was at my Mom’s house. My Mom shared that she had a good friend from when she was younger and that he was gay. She also shared that he was HIV positive. He was welcome in our home.
I was at K.B. Toys with my Dad. I was allowed to pick out a toy, and I chose a set of orange pom-poms. At the cash register, the clerk commented on them being a “girl toy.” My Dad told her to sell me the pom-poms.
I was at a shoe store with My Dad. We were shopping for a pair of back-to-school shoes, and I found a pair of square-toed, black leather boots; they had a small Chelsea-boot heal. I didn’t know it when I found them, but they came from the girls’ section. Once I realized it, though, I felt ashamed and wanted to pick something else. My Dad said if I liked them, I should get them. It didn’t matter. (I still chose something different.)
I was at home with my Step-dad. Studying for a test, one of the characters in a question had the name José. I was wary of saying the name because I had not used it before and thought I would sound stupid. He would not let me move on from the question until I’d spoken the name matter-of-factly multiple times.
I was at my Mom’s house. Her friend was going to visit and needed to use my room. The friend was recovering from cancer.
I was at my Grandma’s condo. My cousins and I dug through the closets and cabinets, playing dress-up. We wore wedding dresses and put on lipstick. It’s on video somewhere.
I was at my Mom’s house before the fire and at my Dad’s house after the fire. We lived with an old family friend named Raul. He taught us some Spanish and was very competitive about the card game Uno.
I was with my Dad before Christmas. At the bar he owned, they’d do charity drives at the holidays. Instead of paying a cover, folx would need to bring a toy. He would deliver the toys to a shelter I got to help take them out of the car.
From an Essay I May Never Publish
Here is a paragraph from an essay I wrote but don’t think I will ever publish.
“She convinces us that we should smoke weed with her because it is safer than us trying it somewhere else. With her, we know that it isn’t laced with something gnarly. So she teaches Ben and me how to roll a blunt. She doesn’t have any rolling papers, though, so she teaches a trick: you can substitute Tampax wrappers for rolling papers. Something about the chemicals they’re covered in – which make them a little glossy and different than printer paper – makes them burn slowly enough that the pot will burn at a decent pace.”
Better Left in Draft
Here are some things I drafted but never tweeted. They would not have been great tweets.
Shout out to Jenny at Jenny Nail, who is not only a small business owner but also a notary public.
Why is it so deeply concerning when someone performs their depression for the sake of a like, but when someone performs a false sense of happiness, it is celebrated?
Three Men and a Baby is a real movie that actually exists.
How many photos of my dog can I take before I get sick of it? (insert gif below)
There should be a word for that.
Here are some things I think there should be singular words for. (Maybe there are? If there are, I don’t know them.)
There should be a word for the feeling of simultaneous success and sadness when you finish reading a book.
There should be a word for wanting to be someone and also fuck them.
There should be a word for loving so much that it makes you want to cry.
There should be a word for the confusion you feel when you see someone and can’t remember if you actually know them or have just seen them on the internet.
There should be a word for the simultaneous experience of envy and fear.
6 Things From My Life
Here are five things from my life with no common thread.
Because of New Girl, I re-learned the difference between an acrostic and an acronym.
I went off social media last week and planned to stay off until the new year. My average screen time has already become drastically different. I’m currently down 64% from last week. *wide-eyed surprise face emoji with a tinge of sadness*
As part of a goal to be less-digital in certain ways, I bought a big paper 2021 calendar for the home office (read: desk in the living room corner).
Last night, I made chili in the Instantpot from a recipe book and cornbread from a box. I’m going to try and do a recipe at least once a week.
I have a goal to send more cards and letters. Will you send me your mailing address and birthday? (you can reply to this email)
My toes get so cold while walking the dog; I just got myself Koolaburra Uggs, and they are very warm. I feel no shame.
Coming soon: This Friday, I’ll be sharing my list of favorite things from November. This is an edition for paid subscribers only. Subscriptions are now $40 for the whole year.
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