Take care of yourself, David.
some of the things that help
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Photo: A “good view” taken on the ascent of a medium-level hike in Cold Spring, NY.
Maybe it’s just me but it feels like it’s been months since the last gangletown…
This week felt simultaneously like the longest week of my life and also like a blip on the radar. Ain’t it funny how that works? Time is a mind-numbing concept.
The chaotic energy of this shortlong week came about in part because I have picked up a bit of extra work writing for the annual talent showcase at ABC television. I love working on the showcase for lots of reasons (one of which is because I get to sort of collaborate with my husband) but combining that work with my day-job work, two self-tape auditions, and everything else going on in the world has me…tired. Really tired. It’s the kind of tired that isn’t solved by a night’s sleep or an afternoon nap.
But what is the solution? Here are a few of the things I’ve been doing to refill the tank.
Go to the Chiropractor, David.
A few weeks ago, my good sis Dr. Paul Kwak shared the story of a particularly bad day at work with our group-text. He is a surgeon and an unfortunate case came in as an emergency. Because of this case, he shared that the challenges of Covid-19 aren’t relegated exclusively to people with the virus. With businesses shutdown, and a general fear of contracting, many people have halted their regular medical check-ins. Serious issues are popping up which could have been solved earlier. On that bad day, Dr. Kwak dealt with one of those serious-issue cases and…well, it was a bad day.
That felt like a little wake up call to be better at taking care of myself. A few months before quarantimes started, I had created a great pattern of seeing my chiropractor but I definitely stopped doing regular visits in mid-March. I should not have stopped. Even in a normal world, I sit like an asshole (read: weird positions), I sleep like an asshole, and I carry stress in my neck at an Olympic level. Add 2020 vybes and six months of chiropractic abstinence to the mix and what do you think happened? My spine is so angry!
So I’ve started going back and you know what? That twenty-five minutes of chiropractic-magic is worth its weight in diamonds. It’s physically and emotionally healing and if I could go every single day, I would.
Go outside, David.
The last few weeks, we’ve been taking the car and driving out of our neighborhood for hikes. It cannot be over-stated how impactful a few hours of fresh air, trees, rocks, and a casual post-hike burger / beer combo can be.
Go to therapy, David.
Yesterday (Saturday October 10th) was “World Mental Health Day” which, according to the World Health Organization, has the “overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health.” There is never a year where mental health isn’t an important topic but in 2020 it feels extra super important (we all know why).
Personally, I’ve definitely been in a rough patch. I’ve had varying levels of stress, anxiety, and depression on a constant loop for months and lately it’s been pretty gnarly. Don’t worry, overall I’m okay. The pattern isn’t new to me; I can remember versions of this cycle as early as ~fifth grade. So just this week, I made steps to start therapy again.
For the record, I know “therapy” still has a stigma for lots of people but I don’t subscribe to that nonsense. I think therapy is STUNNING. It is for everyone. It is to be celebrated. I strongly believe that all people could benefit from therapy as mental and emotional exercise, regardless of extreme circumstance or diagnosable mental health issues. In the same way we work out our bodies to stay fit, we can do the same for our mental health. But, like trainers at the gym, therapy is often prohibitively expensive and inaccessible for many so I want to share how I am making it happen for myself in a couple of semi-“alternative” ways. My hope is that it might be helpful to…someone.
I’m about to start therapy in two ways: via my job and online.
1) Via my employer: I work for a big company (Penguin Random House [entirely unaffiliated with gangletown]) and they provide a service where they will cover the entire bill for up to six sessions with a counselor. Apparently this is a semi-common benefit for medium-large sized companies with benefit packages and people rarely take advantage of it. In fact, my last company, which was medium-small, even had this benefit but I never used it during the 5 years that I worked there. Silly. USE YOUR BENEFITS if you have them.
If you’re unsure of whether your employer offers a benefit like this, usually an HR or HR-adjacent member of the staff can help you find out. For me, I just had to fill out a quick request via our HR provider. I got a call from them within 24 hours, they asked me a few confidential questions, and then matched me with a therapist. I scheduled my first session with my therapist and will be meeting with her virtually next week.
My OOP cost for this service: $0.00
2) Online: Okay, just FYI that this is not an ad. I signed up for an online therapy app/website called Better Help. If you listen to podcasts you’ve probably heard the ads. I tried a similar platform like this at the beginning of 2019 when I was totally melting down about work-related drama (ifykyk) but I didn’t give it an honest shot. Back then, I decided to switch to an in-person therapist instead. Now, though, since we’re in a telehealth-only environment anyway, I’m giving it another go.
I joined Better Help and have it all set up so that I can pick up with a therapist as soon as the work-provided sessions run out. Based on all my initial reactions to the platform, I feel very optimistic that it will be a good way to create better mental health accountability practices in an on-going way.
Once again this is NOT an ad, and therapy needs are very different for each person, but if you want to give it a try, you can use my code for a free week.
General cost for this service: $80.00 / wk - includes weekly tele-visit & 24/7 access to a private text platform with the counsellor.
My OOP cost for this service: $80.00 / wk BUT I am using an FSA credit card to cover the cost.
Get tattoos, David.
I got my first tattoo when I was nineteen. “Donna & Dave” on my right forearm. A tribute to my late grandparents on my Mother’s side. At the time, I thought it would be my only tattoo…over the last decade and a half, though, tattoos have become something I love very much. I love the art, I love the looks, I love the stories. And, as of Friday night, I have now have eleven tattoos.
My newest piece is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer tattoo. I’ve been teetering on the edge of getting a Buffy tattoo for a long while but never quite knew exactly what the design would be. But somewhere amidst drafts three and four of the script I’m writing for the showcase, I suddenly knew exactly what I needed. I’m thrilled with the outcome and it brings me all sorts of happy awesome good feelings. There is a whole “Buffy” essay coming soon so I’ll keep the back story for another day.
Photo: Tattoo of Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy sneaking around a wall (or door...or something?) and holding a stake. Inspiration reference is from BTVS Season 1 promos. Tattoo art done by Spencer Kinnard.
VOTE, David.
The next election is less than a month away. Actually it’s happening right now with mail and early voting. FINALLY. I am very f’in ready to cast my vote for Joe Biden & Kamala Harris.
My voting plan: I am registered in New Jersey. Our entire state was automatically sent ballots by mail so I am using my mailed ballot but dropping it off early at an official voting box (vs. USPS). I am also tracking my ballot online.
Another crucial part of my voting plan is mentally preparing for the week of November 3rd. In 2016, I was alone at my apartment and had a full-blown meltdown panic attack when I saw Wolf Blitzer realize mathematically that Trump had won the electoral college. Personally, I can’t live in that stress again this year. #NotHealthyForDavid
This year, after I have voted and done all I can to help others cast their votes safely, I will be doing the following (and more) to take care of myself:
blocking social media platforms in my browser
bringing work to a minimum
making a list of comforting movies & books to use as distractions
hydrating
de-hydrating with margaritas or other comforting beverages
planning a week of daily work outs & yoga
keeping a “worry list” where I can write down all the random scary shit that comes in my mind
breakfast sweets
taking extra long walks with Effie
Do you have a plan to vote? Want some help making one? I’m happy to be your partner is figuring that out.
Check your voter’s registration and make a plan to vote!
Read a book, David.
You know how there are certain things that you know will make you feel good but sometimes you just don’t do them because of reasons? For me, that is reading books. I know that if I sit down and read, it will help me refuel. Sometimes it’s hard to find the time but it is always worth it. I decided to start two new books this week. Here is my current #WhatchaReadin?
Photo: Book cover of “Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot” by Mikki Kendall
Books are a big part of my life at work (Penguin Random House), at other work (I’m writing a novel?!), and just because I truly love them. I have already shared quite a few recommendations so, to make sure you can always find the books discussed in gangletown, I have created a store via bookshop.org - you can check it out HERE.
Other things too, David.
Sometimes it’s the little things or the random things. Here are some of my other “this will make you feel good” things:
daily gratitude
listening to tv shows I’ve already seen
physical exercise
watching Effie snore
ten minute naps
doing a full face washing routine
freshly cleaned counter-tops
snuggling on the couch with Blaine
voice texts with the girls
being off social media
putting on real pants for work
iced coffee
another iced coffee
getting and giving physical mail (or, as my friend Kelvin calls it, 3D inbox-ing)
That’s all for now. Take care of yourselves, gangles. I love you.
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