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Bali. But not really. More like, an American-romantic idea of Bali without any research. And surreal too.
Two people stand with both feet atop two large rocks in the sky. The rocks are more like mountaintops extending far far below what we can see.
There is a single rope which connects the two. In the middle of the rope is a ladder. It is the only way down.
From beneath, the swirling sound of a Tibetan singing bowl buzzes for at least fifteen seconds.
The brass sound of a gong rings, the sound of the bowl clams. Both people elevate a single leg and rest it into Vrikasana (tree pose).
They hold the pose in silence, eyes closed,
until
a bird squaks, ruining it.
HAMPER opens his eyes and traces the bird floating through the atmosphere. The bird flies too far for him to see.
HAMPER: Did you see that bird?
BIKINI: ---
HAMPER: It looked like a seagull.
BIKINI: ---
HAMPER: Do they have seagulls here?
I guess maybe. But I didn’t think they would this high up.
BIKINI: ---
HAMPER: What, are you hiding french fries in your pocket or something?
BIKINI: Shh.
HAMPER: Sorry.
They shh. They close their eyes. Silence.
Another bird. They both open their eyes.
BIKINI: The actual fuck are these birds from?
HAMPER: Right?
BIKINI: Okay. Shh.
HAMPER: I’m a little afraid of birds.
BIKINI: Shut up.
HAMPER: Fine.
BIKINI: I’m sorry.
HAMPER: No, you’re not.
BIKINI: I am. Sorry. I’m very competitive.
HAMPER: Competitive Yogi. Isn’t that just the dumbest.
BIKINI: Yep. But whatever. Look in the mirror.
HAMPER: I’m not really a yogi.
BIKINI: Ok.
HAMPER: I’m just competitive.
BIKINI: Oh great. So I’m doing this against someone who doesn’t even give a shit.
HAMPER: Sorry.
BIKINI: No, you aren’t.
HAMPER: That’s true.
BIKINI: Whatever.
HAMPER: I’m Hamper.
BIKINI: That’s your name?
HAMPER: Yep. Yours?
BIKINI: ---
HAMPER: Come on. What’s your name?
BIKINI: Bikini.
HAMPER: Why did your parents name you Bikini?
BIKINI: If you must know, it’s my chosen name. Originally Becky/Rebecca but my parents called me “Beckett” which, in my adult life, I find offensive. So I chose Bikini to spite them…Why did you choose ‘Hamper’?
HAMPER: I didn’t. My parents just hated me. Hate me.
BIKINI: Change it.
HAMPER: No.
BIKINI: Why?
HAMPER: I hate me too. So.
BIKINI: That’s super awkward.
Silence.
BIKINI takes her foot away from her leg and scootches her standing foot around on the rock. The rope moves and slightly rattles HAMPER. They are connected.
HAMPER: Don’t cheat.
BIKINI: I’m not cheating. You’re just losing.
HAMPER: I’m not losing.
BIKINI: Loser.
HAMPER: I’m not losing. I can’t- whatever. I’m not losing.
BIKINI: But I need to win.
HAMPER: Why?
BIKINI: Because I need to! Because winning is-
HAMPER: —
BIKINI: You’re right. I don’t need to, I just-
HAMPER: Right.
BIKINI: You know what. I’ll quit. You can win.
HAMPER: No, don’t do that.
BIKINI: I’m going to-
HAMPER: No, I’m going to. I’ll quit. It’s fine.
BIKINI: No, you can’t quit.
HAMPER: Why?
BIKINI: Because I’m going to quit.
HAMPER: So, you just don’t want me to quit because you want to win at quitting. No way.
They look at the rope. It’s a stand-off.
BIKINI goes to put her foot down and hits the rope.
HAMPER puts his foot down and hits the rope.
They both wobble and try to balance. They are dangerously close to falling. They both center and find Vrikasana once more on the rope.
A huge gust of wind.
They both have regret. Deep, true regret.They fall to their deaths.
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