I Finally Changed My Poopy Diaper
new job, new me
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About a month and a half ago, my friend and former colleague Carly shared a job listing on LinkedIn. Before looking at the job or the company hiring, I read the note that she included with the post. Her message was simple, “I have loved working with this company as a client over the past several months and would encourage you all to apply!”
Before I go any further, it should be noted how much I love Carly. As a friend, she has brought me some of the most memorable laughs of my adult life, shown up for me repeatedly with support, and provided honest feedback that helped me grow as a person. She is the kind of friend that makes me want to be better at being a friend. In addition to the personal stuff, it cannot be overstated how much of my professional success I owe to and share directly with Carly. We worked together for about four years, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I absolutely could not have succeeded in the ways that I did without her as a teammate. In the simplest way I can phrase it, she made me better, and I am grateful.
Needless to say, when I saw Carly’s message about this job, I paid attention.
Little did Carly know that, though I wasn’t technically “looking” for a new job, at the dawn of 2021, I had decided definitively that I wanted to get out of the position I was in. I started that job on March 2nd, 2020, went to the office for nine business days, and then began the covid-era work-from-home model that is still in place to this day. At a time in the world when thousands went onto unemployment (and thousands remain so), I was in a secure position, and I knew that was something to be grateful for. On top of that, the company was absolutely lovely. The people were kind, the environment was supportive, my boss was easy-going and empathetic. Overall, if I had to grade the team on intelligence, passion, and adaptability in a pandemic, I’d give them a clean A.
All of that acknowledged, it just wasn’t my place. As my good sis Collin likes to say, I had a “poopy diaper” for most of my tenure with the company. I knew I should have been grateful, but I mostly bemoaned the entire situation. Why? Well, I was medically depressed for huge chunks of time, the world was seemingly falling apart, and it took everything in me to show up to work each day, even if “showing up” just meant dragging ass to my desk…in my living room. But the circumstances of the world can only be given so much credit. One of the biggest contributing factors to my poopy diaper was that I was just bored as hell in that job and could not get myself emotionally invested in the work.
It’s my fault. While interviewing there, one of the main reasons I wanted the job was because I wanted something that would have minimal emotional commitment. I’d done the 60 hour-a-week job, and this time I wanted something with a clock-in/clock-out mentality that would allow me to focus more on writing. The job was *exactly* what I asked for at the time. But the world we lived in when I accepted that job and the one that it turned into during 2020 were very different from each other.
The world changed, and so did I.
To be simple about it, the pandemic created more questions than answers for me as a professional writer. It’s hard to say that, but it’s true. So, it became pretty clear that I would need to continue with having a day job, at least for a while. Maybe just for a little while? Maybe forever? Only time would tell. All I knew was if I was going to be someone with a day job, I needed to love it. I couldn’t go on being Eyore in a poopy diaper. So, as part of my New Year commitments, I gave myself six months to explore an exit plan. In the back of my mind, I kind of assumed I’d be at that job for at least another year or more, but clicking on the job listing that Carly posted, something sparkled.
I saw parallel after parallel to the work I did at another company - the one where I worked with Carly - and in many ways, it helped to solidify and half-known truth about my time with that company: I really liked that work. I liked negotiating contracts, helping to support my teammates, advocating for the plays and musicals that I (or the company) had fallen in love with. I felt like I was doing something important at the time. When I left that job, things were a little complicated, but I don’t have any regrets. It was time for me to leave. Still, I can’t deny that most of my time there filled me with pride and passion. More than anything, I cared. When I saw the parallels shining through in this job listing, I immediately knew that I needed to apply. There was just one issue - this job was for a six-month contract only.
Though the work seemed far more gratifying, and I was desperate to get out of my poopy diaper, I couldn’t leave a full-time job with no real issues to go to a six-month contract job..So naturally, I applied anyway.
After submitting my résumé, I text Carly, she dropped a note to the hiring manager, and later that day, I had scheduled the first interview.
I was a little concerned about wasting the company’s time by taking a meeting about a job that I had no intention of taking, but I had a gut feeling that I should at least start the conversation. A few minutes into the interview, I laid my cards on the table and told the hiring manager what I was interested in. I told him that I wanted to get back into the entertainment industry, that the job was a bit of an impulse application, and that I was not interested in a six-month contract. I said frankly, “I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I have a full-time job, and when I leave my current company, I need it to be for another full-time job. If there is a world where you would entertain expanding this role into something bigger and long-term, I’d love to keep talking. If not, then I’m not your guy, and I respect that 100%.”
The hiring manager could have ended the conversation right there, but instead, he rolled with the information. He let me know it would definitely be an adjustment for them, but not necessarily impossible for the right person. We kept talking. We spoke about the company, the position, the things that were working, the things that needed improvement. We talked about the alternative spaces that the company was hoping to move into in some imaginary future. With each bit of information, I knew more and more that this was a place that I wanted to be, and it truly seemed like my experience and interests were in alignment with the company's needs. So, I continued to sell myself and the idea of a full-time job. My approach was simple, direct, and honest. It showed I’d be fine with whatever direction the organization decided to go.
By the time the first interview ended, the doors definitely felt open for me. Before we could go any further, though, the hiring manager asked me to send over a quote for salary expectations. There was no point in continuing to talk about inventing a position if they couldn’t afford me (or I couldn’t afford them).
I left the first interview feeling excited and great about how honest I was without being rude. Because I felt so safe in the job I did have, I felt confident that I could really put myself out there without fear, and it felt amazing.
And wouldn’t ya know? I got the job. I started three weeks ago, and so far, it’s been wonderful. My poopy diaper has finally been changed! I feel like a totally different person on a day-to-day basis, and I know that there will inevitably be ups and downs, but it feels absolutely amazing to be here at the beginning of a new chapter.
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I relate to this a lot and I am so happy for you!
I am happy for you, David, and so very, very proud of you.