Gay Miracle: Not-Jeff Probst *Can* Host
Hump Day Motivation 11/17/21
Welcome to the Hump Day Motivation (HDM), a bi-weekly edition of Gangletown. Hump Day is all about the things that make me happy, hopeful, and horny. So buckle up, and enjoy a mid-week digital wiggle!
The Music: Beyoncé, Taylor, and Summer - OH MY
Beyoncé released her first new song in a whole minute. It’s called “Be Alive” and is a part of the soundtrack for the Will Smith movie King Richard.
Taylor Swift released the “(Taylor’s Version)” of her album “Red,” and the internet has completely lost its shit over it. The album includes a ten-minute version of the song "All Too Well,” which she performed on SNL.
Summer Walker’s new album “Still Over It” edged ABBA - yes, that ABBA - out of a #1. More on that HERE.
Avril Lavigne released an IMMACULATE PERFECT DELICIOUS new song called “Bite Me,” and it’s giving me pop-punk stunning wonderful.
Adele: One Night Only premiered on CBS, and lots of people cried about it. You can watch it now on Paramount Plus. Y’all, her new album “30” comes out on Friday, and it will only be her fourth proper album. Fourth. That’s it. Three albums in the back pocket, and she is flipping one-name-famous ADELE. It must be respected.
The 30th anniversary remaster of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” dropped.
Trixie Mattel released a new single called “Hello, Hello” and her love of the B-52’s shines through.
Azealia Banks released “Tarantula,” and I have never been so frustrated by a human. I cannot figure out whether I hate this woman or love her. The music? The music is delicious. The person? I…am entirely lost. Is she a monster? An ally? I honestly can’t keep up.
The New: Britney, Infrastructure, & Boosters
BRITNEY SPEARS IS FREE, AND I'M THRILLED. Years and years ago, I was at my Mom's house, and there was some puff piece about Britney on the television. My Mom caught a glimpse of it and said, “I worry about her like she's my daughter.” And I thought, yes. That is correct. Be free, Britney! We're rooting for you.
The Biden Administration signed a massive bill called Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act, and I’m also thrilled. The narrative around this bill has been bonkers and frankly insufferable, butI'mm glad that something notable was achieved. I'm also happy to see that it was an effort achieved with some working across the aisle. We all know I have opinions about politics, but I've been doing a lot of deep breathing and attempting to grow my patience, and this feels like a bit of an example of how that approach can be beneficial. Now, if we can stop all the nightmare gerrymandering, maybe I can start sleeping at night again?
Boosters have become available for all adults in NYC (and surrounding areas), and I'm still thrilled. Poke me, poke me, poke me!
The Podcast: KwakTalks
My dear sweet, wonderful sisterbrother-friend, Dr. Paul Kwak, has launched a podcast called KWAK TALKS. It's an information hub for Singers/Voice-users, and it is truly incredible. Dr. Kwak approaches the study and care of the voice from a fascinating perspective; he is both a laryngologist and musician. He understands the art brain of musicians but approaches the work of the voice as a doctor. It's important to him to separate that from the perspective of the singer or vocal coach.
The podcast is “designed to empower vocal athletes with knowledge.” So, if you're a user of the voice, especially a singer, PLEASE take the time to engage and learn with Dr. Kwak.
Follow KwakTalks @kwak_talks on Instagram and stream it wherever you get your podcasts.
Episode 1 is RIGHT HERE!
The TV: What We Do In the Shadows
Last week, I started watching What We Do in the Shadows, a mockumentary-style vampire show on FX. I've been hearing buzz about the show for six months or so, and I think that is largely because we represent the film version at the company I work for. I still haven't seen the film, though.
The show is hilarious. I've only seen the pilot so far, but I LOL'd for real, found that out that the vamps are queer, and I am stoked to really take a bite and see what all the fuss is about.
The Thirst: NOT-JEFF PROBST CAN HOST
[Grindr Sound]
Him: Hey
Me: Hey omg are you Not-Jeff Probst from Australian Survivor?
Him: lol yes *blushes*
Me: Mmk. break my back haha jk…unless?
—
So, as it turns out, there is an Australian version of Survivor. Don't worry, I'm not going to talk much about it. Mostly because I didn't actually watch much of it. I put the program on for Effie while we were out of the house - yes, I put the tv on for my dog - and when I came home and saw the host, I almost fainted. It’s hard to watch when one is practically fainting.
The host of this program, whose name I don’t actually know, is a total panty dropper. Ew, that's a gross sentence. Jock dropper? Nope. Whatever. He's bonertown af, and his vascular arms make me go all big-eyed and pouty-lipped like that horny bottom emoji. You know the one.
ALSO! He's Australian, so he speaks like an Australian. The accent? +4 on the boner scale by any measurement. But really, it's a whole vibe. This guy looks like he owns a tent. Maybe several tents. He’s making me pitch a tent, and he owns other literal tents. Like for camping. And likes climbing gear? I’m thinking he has ropes for like, belaying. Can’t you just imagine him belaying? Because I’d be-laying him all night. EYYYO!
And he's a Tall. He's like if Jason Mraz was a bro, and invested in REI or something. I hope he doesn’t wear fedoras or smell like hemp.
To be clear, I'm not complaining about this man and his vibe whatsoever. In fact, I'm exhibiting a considerable amount of self-control by not watching the series right now. No, no. I'm exercising some severe strength of character and waiting until the US Survivor 41 is over because I don't have any more time to watch more TV.
This is like non-pornographic edging or something, and it's gonna be an absolute treat when I can finally…learn his name.
ICYMI Lastweek'ss Gangletown:
Please read the piece “Bisexual Millenial Willy Loman”
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