Could and Could Not
this is all nonsense
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Today’s Gangle is not going to make much sense. Unless it makes a lot of sense? Unless it makes SO much sense that you feel compelled to shout and scream and say, “YES!”
But really actually honestly for real, if it makes any sense at all, I want you to call me on the hellophone RIGHT AWAY because that would imply that we are vibing on a level only distinguishable by creatures outside of this realm.
This Gangle was co-authored by my oft collaborators Lana Russell and Catie Humphreys. I say that not only to give them credit, but also blame…Because it might be a stretch to call it writing? Unclear.
This was created as an exercise between the three of us while we devised the story for a one-day theatre piece. In the exercise, the task is simple: write down things that could happen and things that definitely could not happen.
Things that could happen
We question Intern’s name
Host 1 asks for a dollar from the audience
The intern can’t stop crying
One of the hosts punches the other
Dad dies
Dad sends a video message
Chosen One cries
Chosen One makes things up
There is a raffle
The audience votes on something
The coffin shuts on Intern’s hand
SM takes a shot during the show
We play the Space Jam entrance music for the hosts
The fourth wall is broken
The hosts cry
SM hits on Intern
-----oooooh honey!
We play Ariana Grande, and the Intern knows every word
The intern does CHOREOGRAPHY
THEY ALL DO CHOREOGRAPHY
There is a celebrity cameo!
Someone falls in love
Someone pulls out a weapon
There is a real conversation about death/violence with the audience
The SM saves us from a massive disaster.
There is silence.!!!!
Love
There is a dance party
An audience member’s phone goes off, and one of the hosts answer it
Chosen One says they don’t want to play anymore
We follow a live hashtag in real-time on a screen?
There is a designated Tweeter assigned
Everyone makes a toast together at the end “Cheers! Slainte! Salud!”
Someone really dies (a character)
A keyboard underscores with pop music
There is a prayer
A physical item becomes sentimental and important
There is an audience vote about a major plot point
People eat snacks
There are selfies taken in a coffin
The hosts question their choices
No one knows what to do next (Because how are you really supposed to act)
Is there a dog? ((Probably))
A host is pregnant
The intern trips 9460536890586 times
Every time we say death, someone has to drink
One of the hosts sucks on a bottle to calm down
One of the hosts just wears a blanket the whole time
Someone asks big questions about the world like, “What is the opposite of death?”
Someone brings up Sisqo and The Thong Song
Lana enters the stage and fixes a scene in a real timeline
We say goodbye to someone
The audience has rules of how they can interact with the show IRL
We vote someone off the island
SM is painting a picture during the show
We have a polaroid and give the pics to the Chosen One at the end
There is a game show
There is a social media pull from the chosen one in front of everyone, and we dragggg them for what they post
Someone orders a pizza live
We interact with a live internet screen
The family business breaks up
We talk about how death isn’t exclusive to people but also animals, and situations - loss is more comprehensive than other people
The family business almost breaks up and stays together
Someone believes they are already dead?
The Chosen One has actually had someone recently die and/or is currently dying
The intern knits to calm down
The SM knits because she is what’s-her-name from My Big Fat Greek Wedding
The SM and Intern double as hair and make-up for the hosts...
The hosts share champagne out of the bottle while they decide what to do next
One host got divorced
Someone has a baby
The Intern does a host’s nails
The Intern gets in trouble
The SM is on dating apps and swipes on someone currently in the audience
We play Mariah Carey during every eulogy
The Intern disappears when they’re not supposed to
Someone delivers a eulogy
We text/call a real person close to the chosen one and ask them what they would say for their eulogy
We use facetime for that call
Things that could NEVER happen
There is no funeral at all
Shakespeare
Someone forgets their line
There isn’t a Chosen One
No booze
The hosts agree to have a “traditional” funeral
The hosts let someone off the hook from an uncomfortable moment
No one talks about or questions death
This is built without consideration of non-white, non-Christian-ish points of view in mind (we have to ask more questions about what we don’t know) ((we are all three 30 ish white people with relatively similar backgrounds and reference points for living life and honoring death - what can we learn from thinking about different cultures and prepare ourselves to include, perhaps, a Black baptist woman of 50 years old as the chosen one?)) (((Also: Casting)))
The intern talks all the time
We don’t create a safe word for the Chosen One in the event of high emotions (amen)
Birds
The SM and Intern don’t do what the hosts ask (aka they never say NO)
We don’t end with a toast and/or celebrate the play, no matter what happens (amen)
Nobody besides family members onstage
No experiences are ever wrong
There are no stakes for the hosts
The hosts are on the same page (for the rising plot)
The tech is half-assed (It’s all or nothing)
The hosts can’t finish each other’s sentences
NO PIZZA
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