Welcome to gangletown’s “Monday Edition,” where each week you’ll receive original writing by David Kimple. If that is good for your vybe and you’d like access to everything gangletown has to offer, check out subscription options here.
[MACE and LANE wear college graduation robes. They hug and celebrate.]
MACE: I can’t believe we’re here. I’m really proud of you! You really followed through on your dream.
LANE: Aw, thanks. I mean, I don’t know that it was my ‘dream.’ I didn’t really have a choice, but yeah…I did it.
MACE: It’s not like someone forced you to major in elementary education.
LANE: Oh, come on! We went to the same high school, and you were there on career day, just like I was when we took our tests and got assignments.
MACE: Um- Those were aptitude tests. Indicators. You’re not required to do the job that came up. Have you seriously thought that this entire time?
LANE: Oh crap.
MACE: How is that possible?
LANE: Is it really that insane?
MACE: Yes. We don’t live in a communist country.
LANE: Well-
MACE: I mean-
LANE: Don’t go there.
MACE: Yeah, come on, we don’t have time for that.
LANE: But it’s not that insane…Harry Potter, they’re sorted into houses, Hunger Games – districts, Divergent – Factions.
MACE: Those are all works of fiction.
LANE: Which shaped our generation. I just thought-
MACE: Wait, I majored in communications. What did you think I was assigned?
LANE: Middle management.
MACE: Wow.
LANE: Hey, don’t knock middle managers! They are the lynchpins holding together an increasingly fragile global economy.
MACE: We can discuss that another time but now - do you realize what this means? You can be anything that you want.
LANE: You’re right! Wait, like…what?
MACE: You just said that you don’t want to be a teacher. You could be an artist, a magician, a dolphin trainer.
LANE: Dolphins terrify me.
MACE: What do you want to be?
LANE: I’ve never seriously thought about it.
MACE: First thing that comes to mind – go!
LANE: Communications!
MACE: You just said that because I’m standing right here.
LANE: It’s hard. I need help. I mean, what are you doing with your life?
MACE: Okay, it sounds really harsh when you say it like that.
LANE: Sorry.
MACE: It’s okay. I’m just sensitive. Honestly,… I have no idea. I majored in communications, remember? My “plan” is to move back home with my parents.
LANE: It sounds like we both just spent fifty grand a semester for four years to earn degrees that we don’t want or know how to use?
MACE: Yes.
LANE: I feel like the system failed us. I thought it demanded that I be one thing, and it turns out I could be a completely different thing?!
MACE: Oh god. I went to school so I could get a better paying job, but now I’m going to spend my life working solely to pay for that very “opportunity”?
LANE: Oh god. This is bad. I can’t live like this.
MACE: You’re right. Just bitching about very generalized and reductive versions of major national issues isn’t going to help. We need to take action. What do you want?
LANE: Um- I love helping people!
MACE: Okay, that’s a start. With what kinds of things?
LANE: Whatever they need help with. Things they don’t know!
MACE: Can you be more specific?
LANE: The basics. I love to help build solid foundations.
MACE: Great! And what kinds of people do you connect with?
LANE: Oh, all kinds, really. Love the olds, but the youngs are a bit more fun. More open-minded.
MACE: Okay, so you like to help young people learn things they don’t know.
LANE: Yes!
MACE: You realize what that means?
LANE: I think so. I should also move back in with my parents?
MACE: No! You love teaching kids.
LANE: Holy crap, you’re right.
MACE: You’re actually set up for success after all.
LANE: I am! And you know what that means?
MACE: What?
LANE: I’ll bet you’re the same. In some circular way, you’re already ready to do the thing that you’re meant to do. So - what do you want?
MACE: Ya know, I actually think I’ve got a colorful and worldly soul-searching montage ahead of me. We’re not going to find out the answer to my happy ending today. Right now, I’m going to just try not to buckle under the oppressive weight of infinite opportunity and enjoy the ride. You just prepare the youth for what’s to come; they are…our future.