Can Timothy just Olyphuck me?
*Special* Hump Day Motivation - 11/4/2020
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This is a *special edition* of gangletown’s Hump Day Motivation (HDM), an edition meant to inspire joy (or at least distraction) and get us through rough mid-week moments. The HDM is typically released every other Wednesday for paid subscribers only, but today’s letter is for everyone. Because we all need it today.
Here are a few of the things bringing me joy today. I hope you love them!
WE ALL DESERVE SOME HUMP DAY JOY TODAY.
1. Sweet Baby Yoda has a new DZADDY
*Spoiler Alert* Season 2, Ep 1 of The Mandalorian - “The Marshal.” Do not get loud with me if you haven’t caught up on the show and still choose to read further…
Okay, it’s not really ‘Lil bb Yoda’s father, but in the season premiere of The Mandalorian, Timothy Olyphant enters the universe as “The Marshal” wearing Boba Fett’s Mando drag, and it completely flooded my basement.
Here’s how it goes down. Mando arrives on Tattoine, looking for another Mandalorian like himself. He’s trying to get “The Child” back to its fam. Then, while asking a totally shook bartender for intel, someone walks into the bar like an old western cowboy while wearing some iconic (but musty dusty) armor we all know and love. And we are like BOBA!!!!!! But then (!) he takes off his helmet, and it’s like UH OH. We know this is a major fashion faux pas because it was like 90% of the plot of Season 1.
Under that helmet? Yo, it is fuckin’ DZADDY. A deliciously rugged, gray-haired, Timothy Olyphinnnne. Timothy Olyphuck me. Timothy Oly::phans self::
Once again, I am trippity trap trap trapppppped in thirst for someone that I both want to be and want to bone. Like. Let’s kiss, okay? But also, can I look like that?
In the end, the whole episode is basically like Tremors but make it a Star War, and instead of Kevin Bacon, we’re getting a desert daddy mustache dreamscape version of Timothy Olyphant.
Timothy is def def deffffinitely the DILFoftheWeek this week. Timothy, you can collect your award by texting me directly…
Here are some other versions of Timothy that I like. JUST BECAUSE.
Scream 2 Timothy. Objectively a bit challenging in this one because ya know…murderous. But he really does have that delicate balance of murder me/bang me going on.
The Good Place Timothy. Maya Rudolph knows what’s up, and the theme of cowboy continues.
Whatever this gif is from. Literally no clue. I googled “Timothy Olyphant Hot,” and it was a top choice.
2. Catie is gonna have a baby (again).
This is my BFF Catie. AKA Cath. AKA Catherine. I did not get permission from her to share this photo, but she is gorgeous and stunning and super pregnant during a pandemic, so I think the world should know how much of a badass superhero magician dreamboat she is.
Catie is a clean nine months pregnant with her second tiny, and her due date is tomorrow (November 5th). Her first tiny, Lyla, is both three and a half years old and one of the best people on the planet, so we can only assume that tiny #2 (which should be named David Lynn for science reasons) will be equally amazing.
Everyone, send Catie, her husband Graeme, and soon-to-be big sister Lyla good vibes for a super easy, happy, safe, healthy birth! It’s almost baby time!
3. LGBTQ+ Lawmakers
It’s election week and I’m rooting for the queer+ people. Let’s be real - I’m always rooting for the queer+ people. Here are some election-related success stories (as reported by them) worth celebrating today!
“Sarah McBride won her race for Delaware’s District 1, making her the first openly transgender state senator in American history.”
“[Michele Rayner and Shevrin Jones] won their House and Senate races to become Florida's first openly LGBTQ+ state senator and first openly queer Black woman to serve in the state's legislature, respectively.”
“Ritchie Torres and Mondaire Jones won their U.S. congressional races in New York, which means Black LGBTQ+ men have been elected to Congress for the first time.”
“Stephanie Byers won her bid for a seat in the Kansas House of Representatives, becoming the first transgender woman of color to secure a seat in a state legislature.”
“Kim Jackson will be the first openly LGBTQ+ State Senator in Georgia.”
“Sharice Davids, the first out LGBTQ+ Native American congresswoman, secured reelection.”
“Sam Park, First Openly Gay Man In Georgia State Legislature, Wins Reelection”
Bonus.
At the intersection of friends doing great things, political satire, and things that make me laugh is “Make Happy” which my good friend Ali Levin (& Co) created. This is vaguely related to politics, so like…yeah. But it is a real joy and I encourage you to take a peep and make happy yourself (and others).
And that’s it. Do you feel over-the-hump? Good! And there’s more where that came from, but the next Hump Day Motivation comes out in two weeks for paid subscribers only.
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