Break My Back, Daniel Craig
Hump Day Motivation 10/20/21
Welcome to the Hump Day Motivation (HDM), a bi-weekly edition of Gangletown. Hump Day is all about the things that make me happy, hopeful, and horny. So buckle up, and enjoy a mid-week digital wiggle!
Music: Japanese Breakfast - Jubilee
I accidentally started listening to this album last week, unaware that I was listening to Michelle Zauner’s band. A month or two ago, I audio-booked Zauner’s Crying in H-Mart - which I highly recommend - and, though she speaks about being a musician a ton in the book, I never took the time to acquaint myself with her actual music. While reading, I felt a distinct interest in hearing her work, I just plum forgot.
Click, click, and here we are.
There is something really special and joyful about this album. I cannot wait to get to know this band more intimately.
THIRST: NEW BOND FILM PROVIDES BISEXUAL DREAMSCAPE
!!! Spoilers Ahead for No Time to Die !!!
Okay, spoiler for the spoiler alert. This is really just a gush fest about how flipflappin’ bonertown Ana de Armas and Daniel Craig are in the long-awaited new Bond film, No Time to Die.
Here they are, looking hot. Please. Feel free to take a moment an luxuriate.
Daniel, with his broodish broody brood face.
Ana with her oofty oof classic [drooling face emoji] vibe and playful spirit.
A mostly backless dress. A crisp tux. Her perfectly sculpted eyebrow. His pouting bottom lip. Martinis. Formal wear. Guns.
Oof.
Sorry. Got lost there for a minute. Where are we?
Overall, No Time to Die is a solid movie. Though I’ve seen the last four or five films, I’m not a Bond junkie, so I can only assume a lot of the nuance people keep raving about is lost on me. But I liked it!
What was not lost, though, is the sex appeal.
Have you picked up on that part yet? That they were very hot? Did you get that?
My principal critique of this whole situation, really, is just that it wasn’t hot enough. Ana de Armas is only in one major scene of the movie, but somehow really steals the whole damn show. She is phenomenal. Like. Star power moment. I’m not shitting you when I saw that in this one scene, de Armas almost completely outshines Daniel Dzaddy Craig’s final moments as Bond. The character’s spirit and intensity hits from frame one, and there is a section of her big fight scene where she is giving high-heeled, gun-slinging kicks to the mother fuckin’ throat. She’s like WHAM! and, though I don’t condone physical violence, I would absolutely condone her puncturing my jugular with her athletic stiletto Louboutins.
Weirdly, Daniel Craig isn’t overtly sexualized by the lense in the film. There don’t seem to be a ton of lingering shots that center him as the studly sex-driven licensed murderer that many (me) have, perhaps, come to expect. Daniel is giving literal Father and he’s giving monogamy in this movie so, I guess, they dialed back the topless wet t-shirt shots for that reason? Like, okay dramaturgy. I “get” it.
But still, there is only so much parental mojo you can force down my throat when I’m working really hard to imagine what else could be forced down my- SORRY. SORRY. SORRY. Too much?
You see. It’s just that he’s got that face. And the body can’t hide. They can try to hide it, but I’ve got imagination and passion, so it just isn’t going to work. Sorry. I’m just saying, Daniel Craig can take that smoldering british bottom lip, flip me like a cheese omelet, and break my damn back, fully clothed or not.
For the sake of Hump Day, here is the not.
I am phone.
Movie: Scream (5)
Finally, the first official trailer for the new Scream has been released. After much debate and consideration, I feel reasonably confident that the Scream movies are my favorite of the slasher-genre franchises, so I am truly stoked about this.
The Halloween franchise is an easy second, but I simply *cannot* go into the monstrosity of Halloween Kills without losing years on what I can only assume is already going to be a relatively short life expectancy.
Watch the trailer. What do you think?
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